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"I know that there's alot of revisionist history going on."
- G. Bush II, June 17, the year of our Lord 2003

 

In an effort to counter deceitful campaigns by enemies of the state in the chronicling of recent events, I hereby proffer my services and seek official sanction to take on the duties of Court Revisionist Historian.

As a testament to my fitness for this office, I present for public viewing these recent acquisitions from my private collection, illustrations depicting instruments for executing the foreign and domestic policies of our Great Nation and for combating evildoers. These paintings, ostensibly commissioned by the ancestors of our Founding Fathers, evince the distinguished pedigree of contemporary methods for resolving rivalries and conflicts and will, with additional labor on my part, demonstrate a precedent that will surely silence critics, defamers, non-believers and other promoters of terror.

-- Marc Silva, Dealer of Para*antiquities
20th of June, A.D. MMIII